Reconnecting with a friend

An old needlepoint hanging on a wall in my spare bedroom is instrumental in me reconnecting with a friend from my past. My maternal grandmother stitched the needlepoint for me nearly 50 years ago.

The frame is not very pretty and the glass has a crack in the upper left corner. But it’s been through 16 or so moves since I’ve had it. So, it’s actually a miracle it has any glass left at all.

I love the message – “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” And I love that my grandmother chose it just for me. Today, I love more than anything else the reason she chose it. I had forgotten all about that.

A long time ago

Grandmama Huckabee (my mother’s mom) lived with us off and on after her husband died in 1963 and kept up with all the goings-on of her grandchildren. A few of those years, I was in school at the University of Alabama but spent the summers at home in Phenix City and later Tuscaloosa after my father took a position at the university.

One of my sorority sisters, who was also a roommate and great friend, came home with me a couple of summers because her family lived far away in Virginia. Practically inseparable, we were closer than sisters. We had tons of fun together.

Sure we’d be friends forever, we made big plans to travel, work and raise families together after graduation. 

Losing touch

Despite our great plans, our lives took their own turns and we completely lost touch. It’s now been more than 40 years since we last saw or communicated with each other.

50-year-old needlepoint by grandmother led to reconnecting with a friend.

But watching how much we enjoyed each other those summers was what had Grandmama choose the “friend” needlepoint for me. She liked to make her gifts as personal as possible.

Although I’ve carried this piece with me for so long and find myself smiling every time I look at it, I had almost forgotten how it came to be.

Until yesterday (August 5), which happened to be International Friendship Day.

Standing in front of my grandmother’s art, I was contemplating how grateful I am for the awesome friends I have today as well as all the friends I’ve had throughout my life. Some I’ve kept in touch with; some I’ve not.

My family moved a lot around Alabama, so my elementary school friends were mostly forgotten when we left for Phenix City. Then many of my high school friends forgotten when I got to college. Most of the college friends forgotten when I left Tuscaloosa to start a career – and so it goes.

Reconnecting

Once I joined Facebook, I reconnected with many of these old friends – mostly to say hello to and touch base every so often. We didn’t necessarily start hanging out but it was great being able to see what was going on in their lives.

Unfortunately, my college sister was not one of those re-discovered friends. Every few years – probably once a decade – I’d make a special effort to find her with no luck. For the longest time, I couldn’t even remember what her husband’s name was so was further thwarted by that.

When I finally did find something with his name on it, I tried again to find my friend. I found what I thought might be them and sent an email but never heard a response so basically gave up. That was about 10 years ago.

Then yesterday when I remembered the impetus behind my grandmother’s art, I searched again. This time I found her – on Facebook of all places. I was thrilled!

I sent a message asking if she was the right person and if she remembered me. She answered right back that she was the one I was looking for and of course she remembered me. 

Other than that exchange, we haven’t talked yet but will. Whether or not we have anything left in common, we still have a lot of catching up to do.

Unbelievably excited, I’ve been feeling especially grateful all day for Grandmama’s thoughtfulness. Grateful for designated days prompting us to acknowledge certain people and grateful for Facebook and all the old friends it’s helped find.

Nothing beats reconnecting with a long-lost friend.