Minding my own business – or not

Minding my own business is not always such a great idea. And sometimes, it is.

As I sat at an intersection a few days ago, waiting to turn left, I noticed a woman on the opposite sidewalk. She was pushing a stroller with a small infant inside, carrying a toddler on one hip and had a slightly older toddler walking along beside her.

As they approached the busy crossing, she put the hip toddler down next to the other one. But the little girl kept reaching out, crying to be carried again. The woman slapped the child’s hands away and started to walk on but eventually turned around and picked her up. They all looked harried.

After I turned the corner, I watched through my rearview and side mirrors to make sure they safely crossed the street. As far as I could tell, they made it fine. But I worried about it.

Feeling bad about non-action

Should I have pulled over to see if I could help somehow? I do happen to have two child seats in my car for my grandchildren. Would that have been the appropriate thing to do, even if not exactly feasible since I was in the middle of traffic?

The woman didn’t look much older than a teen herself. I didn’t see anyone else offering any assistance – neither did I.

I drove on and felt bad about doing nothing.

A different situation nearly 30 years ago was even worse.

Minding my own business a poor excuse

I was running into a store to get some last-minute plastic Easter eggs my young son needed for a party. I heard a child screaming bloody murder in the parking lot outside the store.

I turned to see a woman holding up a small child with one hand and repeatedly hitting it on the legs and butt with the other.

Another adult and small child stood by waiting for them to finish. They were obviously together. Several more bystanders stopped to stare in disbelief at the disturbance but just moved on, shaking their heads.

Within seconds, the woman put the child down but continued hitting and shaking him while yelling “STOP THAT!” Did she actually expect him to stop crying while she was beating the stew out of him?

Ignoring my intuition

What I really wanted to do was walk over, snatch the kid out of her grips and give him refuge. Then knock her to the ground. That’s what I wanted to do. But I thought I at least needed to say something to her.

I couldn’t imagine what the child had done to deserve such treatment. I knew little boys could be maddening and throw temper tantrums for no apparent reason. But to be bad enough to warrant that degree of punishment?

Of course, I reasoned, it’s possible the boy had run out in front of a car almost getting hit and she wanted to make sure that never happened again. Or maybe she had spent an exhausting hour frantically searching for him after he had disappeared from her sight. Doubtful from what I saw, but possible.

The commotion seemed to be losing steam, so I went on into the store. I told myself that if these people were still out there when I was done in five minutes, I would do something.

Plagued by inertia

They were gone, but I felt no relief – for a long time. I berated myself relentlessly for not butting in when it was happening. I just hope that little boy did not become another statistic.

Too many children who die at the hands of their abusive parents could have been saved if only someone had butted in. And I know there are plenty of recent examples of people butting in about “injustices” they witness, even calling the police erroneously. They clearly should have been minding their own business.

The woman with children on the street was not nearly as disturbing as the one hitting the child. It simply triggered a memory, bringing home once again how being steeped in minding my own business gets in the way of doing what I think is right.

Or maybe, I’m just a wimp.